My Daily Surrender of Worry

(Anxious, fret, troubled, agonize, loose sleep, fear, discomfort)

   Every day my mind is bombarded with thoughts.  I have been a worrier since day one.  My very first bible verse I was given was Matthew 6: 25-27

   Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink: nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

   Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.  Are ye not much better than they?

   Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

   In my lifetime I have perfected the art of worry. 

I am not proud of this. Since I was little I suffered with stomach aches, problems with sleep and nightmares’.  I spent hours daydreaming on how to solve problems that “could happen”.  It was no accident God gave me this verse almost the moment I asked him to come into my heart.  You would think some thirty plus years of following HIM I would be able to say, “I conquered that”.  Not so. I am beginning to have some victory!

   As a little girl my world felt so out of control.  I would often hide in my cedar walk in closet and take blankets, pillows and all my stuffed animals.  There I would wait until my father had his usual beers in his chair.  He was a happy drunk.  He was usually an angry mean man until he had his liquid fix. So early on I lived in a world of daydreaming: how to fix it, how to change things, how to control things. 

   Control became the core of my being.  Not intentionally and not welcomed, it became so rooted in my heart that I was unable to stop. It masks itself as; organized, influence, helping, love and concern.  Before I knew, it became a sickness and disease.  Control has destroyed relationships.   It seemed impossible to control my controlling.

   Thankful my Heavenly Father never gave up on me.  I am learning to surrender all worry, fear and lay them at his heavenly feet.  It is truly all that I can do.  I have learned that you can’t change people or situations.  I know that I can only change myself.  I can’t tell you any formula to make this happen in your life.  I can only tell you for me it happened out of brokenness.  The realization that nothing I was doing was working.  When I dropped at the feat of my Father and cried, “I am out of control and I need you to be in control”, that was the beginning.

The righteous cry, and the Lord hearth, and delivered them out of all their troubles.

Psalm 34: 17

   Today I am thankful that when I begin to worry and control my world I get a little “nudge”, I think it is from the Holy Spirit.  I try to immediately get on my knees and cry out to God, where my help comes from. 

Surrendering for me means: bringing the difficulties: Elections, Children, Grandchildren, Marriage, Jobs, Incomes, Economy etc, etc, bring it all to the creator who is the only one IN CHARGE and knows ALL. I am surrendering daily….I am surrendering often.