I surrender all

 to the voice

 in the middle of the night.

   I fight often with insomnia.  This weekend was no different.  As I laid my head on the pillow I did have so much on my mind.  One of my loved ones was missing.  I had made all the phone calls and searches I could for that day.  My heart was heavy and already I was making a mental list of what I could do when the sun came up.  I could do nothing more.  Oh I could have, and it would have appeared I was out of my mind!  I had thought of getting in my car and pounding on doors.  I settled for staying underneath the warmth of my blankets and PRAYING myself to sleep.  That is what I literally did. 

   At 2 am I was awaken by the phone ringing.  There has never been anything good about a phone call at that hour in my life.  In fact, the sound that awakes you is shear alarming.  I assumed it was about my earlier anxiety only to be addressed with a new emergency.  A emergency that was over one hundred miles away!  What could I do?  Once again I did all that I could do, and then laid in my bed, PRAYED and tried to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and then realized that was not going to happen.  My husband and I made warm milk and took our blankets to the couch where we made a plan of tackling the problems the next day and then realized it was the next day!

   My husband was able to head back to bed and I welcomed the time for further darkness and prayer.  I have learned that it is far better to get up then toss and turn.  I have learned to welcome the opportunity of the dark still night to communicate with my heavenly father. 

   What is it that comes to your heart in the middle of the night?  Is it anxiety, worry, fear, ideas?  Sometimes there is nothing known or any apparent concerns.  Then as I sit in the stillness I have become aware of Gods voice.  This is where I am learning to listen and I now treasure these interruptions of slumber.  I often wonder what it is that God wants to say to me. 

   I admit that my days are busy and I don’t often enough slow myself, stop and take the time to listen. In the quietness of the night God get’s my full attention.  I am learning to stop wrestling with the blanket and to get up and give God my attention. He often brings people to mind and specific ways to pray.  Pain and despair is sometimes so great and I hurt so badly, LIKE THIS NIGHT, that it is His name alone that I cry out to for. I say nothing more than, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”Sometimes I am overcome by my own faults, mistakes and sin.   I receive comfort, grace, peace and direction. Problems may not be resolved, yet I have found great peace in the storm.

 There is nothing you can usually do in the darkness of the night but pray.  That is exactly where God wands us.  I have no choice but to surrender it all to Him once again.  I have no control, so I rest knowing that the most powerful source of help is in control and has a plan! 

  If I choose to surrender my mind to Him and devote this time to listen, I find it is a special time of communion with my Father. Then I go back to bed and I sleep.      

At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments.

Psalms 119:62 

 “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following Me, and has not carried out my commands.” And Samuel was distressed and cried out to the Lord all night. 1 Samuel 15:11

And it was at this time He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God.

Luke 6:12