I SURRENDER RESOLUTIONS

 I CHOOSE A WORD

 AND A WORK

FOR HIM TO DO 

IN MY HEART THIS YEAR

As another year comes to a close I do what most people do; take time to reflect, review and plan. 

I am not one to make “Resolutions”.  Long ago I realized that within a few days of declaring my promises, pledges and declarations that I had lost the fight, failed the vow and threw in the towel.  So now I make no resolutions.  I have need of only one thing. To Love the Lord my God with all my heart.

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart,

all your soul, and all your strength.

Deuteronomy 6: 5

   I want to tell you about my reflection of all that God has done for me this year.  Like some of my friends I spent most of the month of November in Thanksgiving.  Everyday I took opportunity to speak thankfulness for blessings in my life!  Wow was that a great exercise and something I want to incorporate every day into my life.  I have learned that even on the grayest day there is always something to be thankful for!

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,

 and keep the vows you made to the Most High. 

Then call on me when you are in trouble,

 and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.

Psalm 50:14-15

I have learned two of the most precious lessons this year; the sacrifice of Praise to God and keeping my vows I have made to Him.  I have seen him honor my sacrifice of praise and rescue me time and time again.  He is so amazingly faithful.  I would be lost without Him and I desperately need Him every day.  I am in awe of all He has done this year in my life and I open my heart and arms wide for more!

   Somewhere in the middle of this last year I realized I had made progress on an issue I had been battling all my life (MY CONTROLLING HEART). Oh how I hated and loathed that word.  When anyone tried to tell me I was controlling I was so incredibly hurt.  I did not think I was controlling.  I thought it was love.  

   I learned at an early age some very unhealthy responses to my world.  With my fathers drinking, as a child I wanted to make my world happy and everyone in it happy.  Somehow, as it happens with children of Alcoholics, you begin to take on responsibility to “fix it”.  I became to believe that it was my job to make everyone happy and take care of everyone.  I carried, oh let’s be honest and say I carry that need into this very day.  I often find it necessary to control my environment.  This involves “sharing” my ideas and concerns, trying to make everyone and everything ok. I even "help" or tell people plan how to accomplish change!  Perfectionism comes with the territory of children of alcoholics. My poor children and husband have had to live with this. You can probably only imagine how the disease of Alcoholism has affected and infected my life and those around me.  It truly is a disease that affects the whole family for generations.   

   I have in my blog the past few months often shared openly regarding Addiction.  I have a deep heart belief we are only as sick as our secrets.  If we are willing to be vulnerable and share our realness, then we can encourage one another and work toward healing. It is with honesty, non judgment, love, kindness and most importantly with our Great Savior that healing and wholeness take place. You see I believe one of the biggest faults of the Christian community or the church is that we pretend to be perfect.  That is why we are so often called hypocrites. Let’s be honest and hold each other up in prayer and encouragement. That is when Jesus gets the glory for the work He is doing! That is the whole reason I started my blog. This is my great adventure of what God will do in my life as I continue to SURRENDER ALL.   

  Back to my work; Controlling. I find I am letting go, keeping my mouth shut more often, looking up to Him, instead of looking to fix it.  With my new found growth and improvement, not perfection, I am encouraged to go the next step; you know amplify, intensify and strengthen. I am all about NOT wanting to stay the same. I desire to grow, change and become more like the women Christ wants me to be. 

OH LORD

IT IS MY PRAYER

YOU CONTINUE TO DO A WORK IN ME.

I ONLY WANT YOU TO BE IN CONTROL.

   I am reminded there is no need to work for God’s acceptance.  There is only one work he wants from me.

Jesus told them,

 “This is the only work God wants from you;

 Believe in the one he has sent.”

John 6:29

Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important; Love your neighbor as yourself.  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments”.

Matthew 22:37-40

   In my time of prayer, thanksgiving, reflection and preparation for the New Year I recognize how God has begun this work in my life.  It is as if God said, “Your word of the year in 2012 was CONTROL.  This year, I want to do a work in your heart and the word is NARCISSISM”.  Oh no GOD!  This word I hate too, Narcissism, meaning undue dwelling on self.  I can’t believe I am telling you this.  Once again, I confess my ugly human nature.  Narcissism goes hand in hand really with Control. So I am not surprised that God is lovingly prodding me to change.

   When I was a child I became frightened when my father drank.  I often thought that it somehow was my fault.  When you grow up thinking that way you become obsesses that it is all about you.  It is your fault, if only you were different, tried harder, if you would be more perfect, if you..you you. You become paranoid that people are talking about you, thinking, judging you.

THIS IS MY NEW TRUTH;

I am not that important and not everything is about me.

SO MY WORD AND WORK FOR THE NEW YEAR IS NARCISSISM.

 Great…fun…I am now being sarcastic. 

 Oh yes Lord, I do want your guidance and healing in my heart this year.  I am so eternally thankful you do not leave me the same, that you are not finished with me yet! 

I SAY YES LORD

 

Before the clock strikes midnight

And a New Year begins

Be challenged.

Do not make a resolution.

Have God give you a word.

A Word and a work,

 that only God can do in your life this year.

He is more than able to accomplish that work.

O my people, trust in Him at all times.

 Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:8

SAY YES TO HIS WORD!

WELCOME 2013!